Let’s face it, we put up a good front when it comes to keeping it all together. We like to feel good about multi-tasking (the experts say we women are good at that),  about having a list, schedules and a synchronized routine for getting through life. We get a high from ticking off the boxes on our well crafted lists, and we can recite sequentially everything we “accomplished” that day.

What we won’t admit to is how damn tired we are. We convince ourselves that as long as we got all our errands done, our household tasks completed and we got that promotion or some recognition at work, we have it all under control. Do we, though?

If you have a family, when  was the last time you announced to family members upon arriving home from work that before you do anything (aside from an extreme emergency) for anyone, you are going to take 20 minutes in a room alone to meditate, unwind in the tub, sip a glass of wine or have a pleasant exchange with those in your household expressing why you are so glad to see them after a long and hard day?

If you are single, like myself, when was the last time you ate a meal without talking on the telephone?  Did you remember later what you even ate?

Even if you did perform some perfunctory self care, of these things, how much of it did you savor? Do you remember what it felt like?  Or did you do the usual by rushing through it so you could get to the next thing?

I am slowly learning that if I complete all my tasks, but I’m not present during the process, especially when im just trying to get to and rush to the next thing, I’m doing myself an injustice.

We have done this for so long that we think this level of functioning is normal.  So today I commit to doing it differently.  Yes, I will still maintain my lists, but I won’t trip when everything on it doesn’t get checked off.

I often say that I love myself, but when I don’t take time to breathe and tune into my relationships with people, I have to question that.  After all, life is about the people in it, not how succinctly we got through the day.

I’m making the commitment to do it not better, quickly  and efficiently, but with great care and more importantly — LOVE.



4 responses »

  1. Fabulous article. Much to reflect on. I’m printing this one out, specifically so that I can read it every time I enter my home. Thanks for keeping it real.


    • Veggie Sister, thank you so much for visiting the blog! Sounds like you, like me, had an epiphany!

      I had to take a look at how I was doing things and make some changes. Please feel free to update me on your progress!


  2. Excellent article! This happens so often to women who have a family. Speaking from experience, we unconsciously lose our own identity. I remember always refreshing folks memory of ME, with a label, e.g. this is XXX’s (mom, wife) Marilyn vs this is Marilyn, XXX’s mom, wife.

    It wasn’t until that marriage ended that I heard my “refresher” intro and realized that I needed to drop the label and pick ME back up.

    I hope my experience helps someone drop their label and pick their ME back up.

    Peace and blessings!


    • Marilyn, thank you so much for taking the time out to visit this site. It’s amazing when we can get the clarity, and more importantly, the fortitude to stand in our truth. It’s particularly significant when we commit to stick to that despite the opposition.


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